Proof that I live in Hicksville, USA:
Saturday, 10 a.m. R and I hop in the car to go the post office to apply for our passports. We walk in the door, place our paperwork on the counter, and look at the post office worker expectantly. "We would like to apply for our passports please."
Post Office Worker: "oh my. we don't do those here."
R: "You don't?"
Post Office Worker: "No, I don't think so. Let me check (shouts to some anonymous postal worker in the backroom "Hey we don't do passports, do we?" She shouts back "Never done one before."). Nope, Sorry. we don't do them."
R: "How about the Marquette Post Office?" (Referring to the "big city" of Marquette about twenty minutes away)
Post Office Worker: "Oh no. They don't do them either. I think you have to go to Green Bay to get it done."
Me: "Green Bay WISCONSIN?" (a three and a half hour drive. to another state. for a passport. what the hell is this, some kind of Saturday Night Live version of Mayberry?)
Post Office Worker: "Yes. In fact I need to go get one myself. We have family in the Soo (Sault Ste Marie, Michigan) and I just heard we can't go across the bridge to shop (Sault Ste Marie, Ontario, Canada) without a passport."
R: "Do you think you could call Marquette and ask them if they do them?" (cleary incredilous and probably ready to divorce me for dragging up here to Hicksville where you have to drive to the next state over to get a #(*&# Passport)
Post Office Worker: "Um sure. Why not." (at least he is an agreeable sort. If a little goofy)
[Post Office Worker calls Marquette Post Office while R and I exchange looks and mouth to each other "GREEN BAY?" ]
Post Office Worker: "Imagine that. they say they don't do it. But that you can go to the County Court House and they do it."
Me: "OK. that makes sense."
R: "Great. thanks"
Post OFfice worker: " Where is that exactly? The court house I mean. Is in the same building as the Post Office is?" (clearly he is thinking about the federal court, which is upstairs from the marquette post office)
Me: "No. It is by the jail. The County Clerk's Office, You know, the "other" court house." [Now, I happen to know this man has lived in the Upper Penninsula his whole life. He has been at this particular post office forever and a day. Marquette is only twenty minutes up the road. The only place to shop. Where Walmart is, for goodness sake. How can he NOT KNOW WHERE THE DARN
COURT HOUSE IS?!!]
Post Office Worker: "Oh ok. thanks. Glad to know that I don't have to go to Green Bay."
Me: "Sure thing. Have a nice day."
And that, my friends, is life in Hicksville, USA
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7 comments:
LOL!! I come from Cooterville myself, but at least it is spittin' distance from acutal civilization in several directions, so I now live a couple towns away where our post office actually does passports and in-breeding is kept to a minimum.
Elain
Obviously, however, spelling one's own name correctly is not stressed.
Elaine
Ha ha..glad you got it worked out. Hey, I grew up out in the country but now when house shopping a Target has to be within 10 miles or NO GO!! I have to go get Annslee's passport..thanks for the reminder : )
Considering I grew up in and currently work in BFE Nowhere, I feel ya. I really do. Glad you got it all sorted out.
P.S. Piper is barking in her sleep. Does Bogey ever do that?
Ahhh Yooper life, I remember the visits well!!!
Oh, I can relate! We live in SD! We actually live in Sioux Falls, which is pretty decently civilized :), but all you have to do is go about 5 minutes outside in any directions & it's hicksville for miles & miles & miles.
Glad you got things figured out though & at least he was nice about it! :)
Ok, I love this post. I'm laughing because I grew up in Ishpeming. My sister works at the Marq. Co. Court house. I happen to know you can get a passport in that building because she recently applied for one. She was going to travel to China with me.
I hope you got it worked out :)
Dawn (also a Yooper but only admits it to certain people).
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