Random Events and Bogey's Bad Day

Good news! Ben's liver enzyme levels are down! The vet hopes that one more month of the Zentonil will bring him back to normal. Ben seems to have more energy these days, and is playing more with Bogey and with us. He is also obsessed with the squirrels and chipmunks in our new back yard. I cannot tell you how relieved I was to find out the results of his blood test!

In birthday events, I have finally decided to forgive my husband for buying me the worst birthday present a man could ever buy a woman: an anti-aging kit from bath and body works. He swears he just bought it cuz the sales person told him it was great stuff, and to ignore the anti- aging title. Of course, the sales person was probably all of 18 years old, so I am pretty sure she thought at 33 I needed an anti aging kit. I taught him a new rule for life: NEVER EVER BUY A WOMAN ANYTHING THAT SAYS ANTI- AGING!!! EVER!! IF A WOMAN WANTS AN ANTI AGING PRODUCT SHE WILL BUY IT HERSELF!!!

Now, finally, I will tell the story of Bogey's Bad Day. Picture it, upper michigan, 2007....early in the morning. R goes to work quite early, so he lets Ben and Bogey outside for potty duty before he leaves for work (after all, an aging woman needs her beauty sleep!). on this particular morning, R was running late, so he was in a rush to get the dogs out and back in again. Ben and Bogey come barreling back in the house, R leaves for work. Both dogs race upstairs to the bedroom- Ben crawling back under the bed for an early morning snooze, Bogey jumps up into the bed to say hello to me and snuggle back down for some cuddle time. As usual, he snuggles up right next to me and puts his head on the pillow, with his back end resting in the crook of my arm. Now, isnt' that a hallmark moment?

Not really. In fact, not even close. As Bogey snuggles down, I detect an odor. a very strong odor. Let's call it "Eu De Poo" Instantly I am wide awake. And horrified. Bogey apparently did not finish what he was doing outside this morning, and the results were beyond disgusting, and all over his butt, the bedding, and my arm.

I spring into action, jump up and out of bed, grab Bogey off the bed, and dash to the bathroom. I drop Bogey into the bathtub, nudge the door shut with my foot, and turn the water on (not too hot, not too cold, but just right), frantically looking around for a plastic cup to rinse the back end of bogey off.

The water hits the clumps of Eu De Poo and I quickly realize I am going to have to grab some toilet paper and pick the cumps out of his hair and out of the tub- no way were they going to simply rinse down the drain.

Turning to grab some toilet paper was my first big mistake. I turn, Bogey jumps out of the tub, and....at just that moment, Ben (who previously was on the outside of the door barking and whining to get in, cuz he is not about to be left out of anything) somehow manages to push the door open.

Ben trotts in, Bogey bolts out.

I uttered some not so very nice words, and leapt over Ben (who was blocking the door, wagging his tail so PROUD of having opened the door all by himself) and go on a "Bogey hunt."

I found him in the OTHER bedroom, "making a nest" out of the bed covers...his back end dripping wet, (and oooh this is so gross) with "brown wet stuff" getting smeared and flung all over the bed.

Holding my breath and trying not to gag, I grab him again, fly back to the bathroom and slam the door shut (this time with Ben on the inside, proving I have a pretty darn good learning curve when it comes to this type of emergency situation) and put Bogey back in the tub.

It took THREE baths to get him clean and half a bottle of baby shampoo!!!

Once I set him free and he did his tear around the house at mach speed and rubbing his face on all the carpets and attacking the towel I so foolishly was trying to dry him off with...Ben in hot pursuit barking his head off.... I inspected the damage.

Doggy Poo was everywhere....on the two bedspreads, on my pillow case (I dont even want to KNOW how that happened), on the sleeve of my pajama top, on the carpet in the hallway, the carpet in both bedrooms, and (as if things were not allready beyond awful) all over the carpet in the basement by the backdoor that leads to our fenced in back yard.

I called R on the phone and asked him how in the world he managed to NOT notice that Bogey had POO all over himself, still coming OUT (EEWW GROSS) when he called the dogs back into the house before he went to work. HOW CAN SOMEONE NOT NOTICE AND NOT SMELL THIS??????

I spent the entire day washing all the bedding, my pajamas, (myself too, actually, cuz I so needed a shower after that....for sheer OH MY GOD I HAD DOG POO ON ME reality of the situation) and scrubbing carpets.

Bogey, of course, now all sweet smelling and squeeky clean, curled up on the couch with Ben and resumed his early morning snooze.

Please tell me that kids do not do things like this!