LOL. I guess I asked for this, didn't I? Looks like I need to blog about all of them, with most poeple wanting #4 and 5# first. However, due to #1 on the list, this might take a while to get done (I am surrounded by boxes and things that need to go in boxes and things that aren't going to fit in any box....AARGGHH)
The conversations with our home study agency and our placement agency took place while I was dealing with Bogey's Bad Day and Moving On up to Colonel's Row. R and I were seriously considering moving from our current duplex to a very nice single family HUMUNGOUS home with a private back yard (complete with two tire swings -let's hope that is a good omen!). The best part is it is all one level, which is very important given What's Wrong with Ben. In making the decision to move, we needed to find out how it was going to affect our adoption - would we need a new homestudy, an update to our home study, an adendum? Also, what do we have to send to USCIS about this move, and how will it affect our approval to adopt?
So, I emailed our placement agency and explained the situation, asking what we would need to do. The reply from our agency Vietnam representative from our regional office was this: unfortunately, we would need to have an update to our homestudy and we should contact our home study agency to find out what that would cost etc.
The email link to our home study agency wasn't working, so I picked up the phone and called them. The worker that I spoke with said, yes, we would have to do an adendum, which would require a worker to do a walk through on the new house: total cost, 350 dollars plus travel, lodging, and food expenses [ the one downside to our home study agency is that they are located in downstate michigan, and we live in the wilds of the U.P., so travel is a bit expensive]. However, they felt that if we did make this move and were willing to wait a little bit, they often have people coming to the U.P. in the summer time and could cor-dinate the visit to time with an allready planned trip up here so that the travel costs etc would be shared with other PAP's or with whatever conference or trip that was allready planned.
In the course of the conversation, the home study agency representative pointed out that we would need to do an update anyway, as the home study is only good for one year and, given the current time lines for our placement agency's Vietnam program, we are going to need to do that update.
I expressed my frustration with the current state of the Vietnam program (i.e. the loooonnnggg wait) and said that when we started the wait was a mere 3-4 months for referral, and now it was 12-15 months.
I was then asked, have we considered domestic adoption? Would we reconsider it? If we were willing to consider adopting an AA baby, they would be happy to have our information on file (for free), as they often have very few choices for Birth Mom's to choose from when the Birth Mom is AA. We would, of course, need to make a few additions to our homestudy (which we could do easily when we do the Moving on Up to Colonel's Row update), and she would have to check with our home study worker to see if he felt we were good candidates for a AA adoption.
I asked if this would require us to drop out of the Vietnam program and was told no, we could do both. As long as we are aware of the additional financial and emotional costs: that is, the additional cost of the domestic adoption (which is far less than the cost of IA) and the emtional cost of having a new baby and making travel plans etc for an IA.
In the meantime, I was waiting for an email back from our placement agency regional rep as to what the likelihood was that we would have to do an update anyway -in other words, is it likely that we will have to update our homestudy due to the time limit on it (one year) given that the wait is currently 12-15 months for referral?
The reply was predictable - as in, they can't say for certainity if we would have to or not, as they never know how many referrals they are going to receive, but her best guess is yes, we are probably going to have to do an update anyway.
Since we are most likely going to shelve out even more money yet again for an update (hence, this adoption is going to cost us more money) we decided to Move on Up to Colonel's Row.
While I sit here amdist boxes and boxes and boxes of stuff and even more stuff not yet in boxes, I am also mulling over the home study agency's "offer" (for lack of a better word) to keep us on file for AA birth mom's to look at when making a choice on her child's future adoptive family. We had closed the door to domestic adoption a long time ago, for many reasons. Should we open it again?
A final troubling thought: Would our placement agency for Vietnam "let" us do both?
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13 comments:
Boy oh boy, you are busy.... It sounds like we have the same thing going on here. I got an e-mail from our homestudy social worker asking if we had any news on a referral yet since it had been a year for our homestudy. Our 3-6 month wait has turned into 12+ months (we are almost 10 months into it) anyways, she asked if we would be interested in looking into AA adoption because they are always looking for good families and she thought we might be a good fit, so I called and talked to them, we are getting info sent to us for the future.
I bet you could go on both lists, people are adopting from China and Vietnam at the same time, so why not U.S. and Vietnam.
Good luck with everything, I think its a good idea you are moving into a bigger house, just think before you know it, it will be over run with baby stuff!!!!!
Wow, you have a lot going on and a lot to think about girl! Please forgive my ignorance, does AA stands for African American? I still want to hear about the furbabies problems...
Wow, that's exciting stuff to ponder! I am curious to hear what your placement agency says. We called a few of the better known agencies about beginning the process for a 2nd VN adoption (just returned with our first son 12/06) and were told by many that they require a 6th month post-placement report before they'd allow us on the referral wait list for a 2nd baby. We're likely signing with VORF, who doesn't require this. Hopefully your agency will allow you to remain on the list, then it'd be conceivable that by the time the domestic adoption is complete, 6 months may have gone by anyway? Good luck and keep us posted - that's VERY exciting.
You've got a lot on your mind! I swear you have to live in limbo when you're adopting. The smallest change creates a lot of paperwork! Good luck with your decision.
Wow has your life been busy and complicated! Regarding your last thought... I would say an even more important question is would you want to do an VN adoption on the heels of bringing home a newborn? I was in no condition to think of having another child (even getting pregnant again!) until my first was about 10 months old... those first 10 months can be SO exhausting, I don't think I could have handled bringing in another child - and dealing with attachment parenting on top of that! But that's just me. :-) Anyway, just wanted to add that to your list of swirling thoughts. :-}
wow- is right. you do have a lot going on. if i'm correct (in that we have the same agency).. the contract we signed said we couldn't pursue an additional adoption/pregnancy during the current one. Did you sign the same contract? It's weird, but BJ and I were having a similar conversation last night about whether we should switch to domestic adoption, the costs, the updates, yadda yadda yadda. We've decided to just stay the course. But we did wonder the same questions you did. Especially the one about "should we open it again?" I'll be interested to hear what you decide to do.
Crud, I just lost the huge post I typed! I will retype it some other time.
Lala is sending well wishers over here from her blog. I see that you are at a crossroads in your adoption process. I will pray that you find your way. I'm sure that things will work out perfectly.
Kelly, I will talk to you about this later. I really don't know how your agency will react...they are VERY conservative as you know. The main rule is the whole "year between major life events" of course with the wait time that may not be an issue. I do know of people who are doing China and Vietnam at the same time so it really shouldn't matter....
We are perusing China and Vietnam at the same time. It can be overwhelming to coordinate both, the wait times for China are so much longer that there will be at least a year to 18 months between placements for us. I know that when creating your family there are lots of good choices and I am sure you will make the right choice for your family. Good luck! I will keep you in my thoughts.
We have a different agency and they are letting us do both. Their reasoning is that we are 12+ months from referral of IA baby and that we have plenty of time to get a match and settle in with a DA baby. We have actually matched twice now. Our first BM decided to parent but we didn't lose any $ and it all worked out. Five days later we got our second BM who is due in June. We are looking a bi-racial/multi-racial situations and there are quite a lot out there. You would be surprised how many! If you agency doesn't let you go this route, then keep it as an option for baby #2. Good Luck!
Why so long (12 months)? We were waiting for a China adoption for a year and found out that it would be much longer so we switched to Vietnam. In just a few week we had a referal, and traveled 2 months later. Maxine, mom and dad arrived home safely (if tired) just before the New Year ('07). Little Maxine has since grown 4 teeth, and is the light of each day.
We used World Child out of Silver Spring MD, and I understand the Jolie/Pitt adoption has yet to make Vietnam as popular as it will become. Did you think of switching to them?
12-15 month wait for a referral!!!! That is so not cool. I'll keep reding to get the rest of your updates. Thanks for checking in on me to make sure I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Hang in there.
-Melanie
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